By Judith Goodger and Elisa Valero

PART TWO

Hutchs heart sank like a broken elevator on its way to the ground floor. Vicky screamed and Jenny held her tightly, tears running down her face in torrents. Every officer in the room remained silent as they took in the scene around them in total disbelief.

"Wait, hold it a minute Ive got something. Extremely weak and thready but Ive got a pulse." The senior paramedic began to shout orders. "Adrenalin fast! Then get me an IV set up, we need to get some fluids back into him before his whole system closes down." The paramedics worked in silent precision to stabilize the man lying on the floor in front of them. Dobey and Vicky prayed hard. Hutch felt as though he were watching the scene from a dream. This couldnt be happeningnot again. Come on Starsk, hang on in there partner. Dont you dare do this to me again!

"Okay, lets get him to Memorial, double speed Jack. Together the paramedics loaded Starsky into the back of the ambulance. The elder one looked sympathetically at the people in front of him.

"Weve got him and we aim to keep him folks. Sorry but theres no room for passengers on this trip. We need the room just in case." His unspoken words hung heavy in the air. "Were taking him to memorial. You can follow us there." With that the man jumped into the back with his patient and slammed the doors. Within seconds the vehicle was racing against the clock.

"Move Hutch. I´ll deal with everything here." Dobey´s hand was on Hutchs shoulder, squeezing gently.

Nodding his thanks Hutch grabbed Vicky and dragged her towards his car, Jenny following close behind. Opening the rear door he almost pushed the two inside before hurrying round to the drivers seat. In a matter of minutes they too were racing through the city streets on their way to Memorial hospital.

Throughout the journey all the mornings events flashed repeatedly into Vickys brain and she wept silently on Jennys shoulder.

At the hospital Hutch paced, back and forth, while Vicky sat silently on a hard chair, her eyes burning holes in the floor in front of her.

"Come on Vick. Drink this." Jenny, placing an arm around her friends shoulders, gave her a steaming cup of coffee. Vicky shook her head, still staring at the floor.

"They almost killed him Jenny... They almost killed Dave in front my eyes."

"Come on Vicky Don't torture yourself this way!"

"Isn´t it funny? During the last days I couldn´t remember one thing of my life, but this memory, that I would forget more than any other memory in the whole world... Im sure that this will remain engraved in my brain until the last day of my life..."

"No Vicky. Both of you will forget. Starsky and you...And all of us. Im sure. Given time well do it." Hutch said.

"DAMNIT! Billy´s death has been too easy! He didn´t suffer... He and that other bastard deserved to rot in hell, suffering like they have made Dave suffer"

"THAT´S ENOUGH VICKY!!" Jenny interrupted her words "Billy deserves to rot in hell, and surely its what will be happening to him, but its not important right know. Listen to me Vick... Right now you must save your strength, and to think only of the most important thing. Dave. Hell need you very much in the next few weeks. You´ll need to be strong for him, and for your baby. Nothing else matters any more.

"Jenny, maybe Dave...This time maybe he cant do it! Just a couple of years ago he was so close to death already,  and the doctors said that..."

"HELL DO IT VICKY!! HE MUST DO IT! " Hutch stopped his pacing to stride over and grab her shoulders, roughly shaking them. Then he looked into her eyes before releasing his grip and allowing his hands to fall back to his side. "Sorry...Sorry Vicky. I´m worried and upset."

"Its okay Hutch. I understand." Vicky whispered back.

Half an hour later Dobey came to the hospital. After asking about Starskys condition, a silence hovered over the little group, until Dobey rose from his chair.

"Listen Hutch. I have to leave because I have an appointment with the Attorney General, to talk with him about all of this. I, and the BCPD, we´ll have some heads for all of this. The head of Gunther´s parole officer, his lawyer, and even the head of that asshole Judge Collins for allowing Gunther back on the street. And as for that damned rat, Gunther. I want to kill him with my own hands! Luckily that nut Sherman is dead already!" The big man become flushed and began to lose his self control.

"It's okay, its okay Cap, try to calm down a little. Okay?" Hutch said softly placing a hand on Dobey shoulder, looking at Vicky from the corner of his eye.

"Sorry Hutch I´ll return later." A little embarrassed Dobey nodded at Vicky and Jenny leaving the waiting room

Hutch, Vicky and Jenny spent the next hours without talking. Not one word would be useful to remove from their minds and hearts the worry, the fear and the sadness. They all were looking anxious and worried; especially Vicky who seemed that she could break down at any moment. Looking at the distraught girl sat down next him, Hutch rose from his chair, kneeling down and taking her hand quietly, he put Starskys silver ring in her palm, closing her little fist with his hands before heading towards the window.

Almost four hours after they arrived at the hospital, Doctor Kellerman came out from the operating room. The doctor had a soft spot for Starsky, who he called His miracle patient, since Starskys long stay in the hospital two years ago, and right now he was truly worried for him. On seeing him all three rose from their chairs, and without preamble, just a brief greeting, a tired looking Kellerman sat down at a small table placed in a corner of the waiting room and began his explanations of Starsky´s condition.

"Well, Right now David is sleeping due to the analgesics, and over the next few days he´ll be pretty dozy. We will have to give him high doses of pain meds to help ease the pain. On the other hand, hes being closely monitored. The good news is that hes breathing on his own, just with a little help from the oxygen. His condition right now is reasonably stable, but his injuries are serious. I´ll not use medical terminology thats difficult for you to understand. I´ll just tell you that electrical shock is something that can cause several complications like oedemas, septicaemia, renal or heart failure or even failure of several organs. All of these can unfortunately appear in the next few days. Mainly, we are very worried for his heart. After the considerable amount of blood lost today, and the cardio respiratory arrest that he suffered two years ago, right now we must be especially cautious of the risk of ventricular fibrillation.  As for the other injurieshe has several burns due to the electric current, his right wrist is broken, muscular strain in both shoulders, though luckily, the lack of circulation of his hands hasn´t caused any permanent damage. There are deep cuts on his back sides and wrists, and a broken rib, caused probably from a muscular contracture"

All of this was too much for Vicky, who began to see the room spinning around her and sat down sharply in the nearest chair.

"Vicky!" An anxious Hutch and Jenny spoke in one voice.

"Nurse, you can bring a glass of water?" Dr Kellerman looked at Vicky with sincere concern. "Mrs Starsky. Are you okay?"

"Y..yes just a little light headed."

"Shes pregnant, besides she suffered... well, an accident a week ago." Jenny said as the nurse gave the water glass to Vicky. She didnt want tell Kellerman any more details.

"Oh, I understand. Mrs. Starsky, if you want we can find a room where you can get a little rest."

"No...No thanks, Im fineI just want to be with my husband."

"Mrs Starsky. When was the last time you had anything to eat?" Kellerman asked

"I... I don't know... But I can't ...."

"Take her to the canteen, get her something to eat. Later you can be with David. Okay?"

"No..I no"

"Please, Mrs Starsky.You´ll need all your strength...Humour me. Please."

Jenny virtually carried Vicky to the canteen while Hutch spoke with Doctor Kellerman.

"Doc. What are the odds?"

"Well. David is not out of the woods by a long way, but we are doing all in our power to help him. Besides, he is an extremely strong man. Look Ken, right now, we can only wait, look after him, and pray, I guess... Go on Ken. Go to him. But remember, he needs rest." On saying this, Doctor Kellerman left the waiting room.

A minute later Hutch went into Starskys ICU room and stood beside his bed, looking at the pale man lying there, surrounded by leads, tubes and machines and hearing the familiar beep of the heart monitor.

."Hi Partner. Here we are. Again...I´m sorry, I´m so sorry Starsk. I couldnt find you before... And thanks to this child, Kathy" Hutch´s hand went out to rest on his friends arm as the words stuck in his mouth. Only twice had he ever let Starsky down and both times had resulted in Starsky fighting for his life, hooked to so much life saving equipment. Dropping slowly into the chair at the side of the bed Hutch took a deep breath and swiped viciously with the back of his hand at the tears which were slowly falling down his cheeks.

"Vicky´s okay Starsk. Jenny took her to the canteen, Drs. orders, before she passed out on us but shes okay. She´s tired and she´s worried sick about you partner, so you have to hurry up and get out of here so she can stop thinking about you and start thinking about the baby." Hutch stopped talking for a moment as a small thin smile flickered across his face. "You´re gonna make the most wonderful Dad Starsk. Damn it you´re nothing short of a big kid yourself. You certainly won the heart of Kathy" Hutch paused again thinking of the small child who had helped him find Starsky. "Wonder what her parents were like Starsk? What happened to them for her to be sleeping rough in that warehouse? Thank God she was though" Again Hutch stopped his eyes on Starsky all the time. Had he felt something or was he just imagining it. "Starsky do that again partner." Hutch´s voice became a little firmer. "Come on Gordo You can do it." Hutch watched Starskys fingers as they, almost imperceptively, closed around his own. Hutch´s smile grew to cover his whole face and he wished that Vicky would come in. "Well glad to see your listening partner. Now how about opening those eyes for me and giving me a roasting for being too late" Hutch watched as Starsky frowned even though his eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping. Hutch knew the struggle that was going on behind the closed lids. He had been in the same position himself, too many times. Every fibre of your being ached to stay asleep while your unconscious mind battled to pull itself out of the fuzziness surrounding it and open your eyes knowing that your partner needed to see you. The pull of their friendship was so strong that Hutch knew it wouldnt be long before those eyes opened.

"Want to know what happened to Kathy Starsk?" Hutch paused silently putting his partners words in place. You know I do Hutch and it better be good. "Well, Sergeant Mitchell took her home for a couple of days. He doesnt normally but.well I guess he thought she looked like she needed a little loving. Hes trying to find out what happened to her parents but it doesnt look good at the moment. His wifeSuzieshes a good sort Starsk. The poor kid will have a lot of loving while shes with them anyway." Again Hutch waited before continuing. "You certainly made an impact on her Starsk. Know what she kept calling you? The curly haired man with the nice smile. Thats a pretty good description if you ask me partner." Hutchs voice dropped again and his heart slowed a little. Id give anything to see that smile right now Starsk! I promised her youd give her a ride in that tomato of yours when you were out of here. Not gonna make me break a promise are you Starsky?" Hutch got up and walked across to the window, looking out with unseeing eyes. "Im sorry Starsk," his voice was nothing more than a whisper now, "I wasn´t fast enough. I fell for the oldest trick in the book when I was supposed to be looking after you and then I couldn´t even find you in time. Im so sorry!"

"Nothing to be sorry for Hutch. You came in the end and that´s all that matters." The voice was soft and weary but none the less more welcome to hear. Hutch spun around to look at the bed. Starsky was looking at him through eyes that were barely open and his left hand was held out asking him to come back. Hutch was across the room in two strides and his hand clamped shut around that of his partners as though his very life depended on it. Tears once more began to fall down his cheeks but this time they were tears of joy.

"Hi Starsk. Had a good sleep?" Hutch whispered as though it was a dream and he was afraid to break the spell.

Starsky snorted then spoke. "It hurts Hutch, everything hurts."

"I know Starsk. The doc says he can give you something for that."

"What happened To Gunther, Sherman and that other guy?" Starsky´s eyelids closed once more and his voice was a mere whisper. Hutch thought he had never heard his friend sound so defeated.

"Sherman and Peters are dead Starsk. Dobey and I shot them. Gunthers back in prison, where he belongs. He thinks he won Starsk. Nothing is gonna give me more pleasure than to let him know he lost again!! Get some rest now Starsk. Vicky will be here in a minute then Ive got an appointment at LA County Jail. I´ll be back as soon as I can."

Starsky nodded just once as he drifted back off in to a pain wracked sleep. The door opened slowly and Vicky and Jenny returned. Hutch rose from the seat and gave it to Vicky. "Hes been awake V, just for a few minutes. Right now he needs to sleep. Stay with him huh. Talk to him. Tell him whats in here." Hutch put his hand on Vickys heart for a brief moment. " I´ll be back in a couple of hours to take you home for a rest but for now you can help him by loving him." Hutch looked directly into her eyes his expression questioning.

"It´ll take me more than a couple of hours to tell him all thats in here Hutch." Vickys eyes were on the bed and the still form of her husband. "Go Hutch, do what you have to do. Im not going anywhere." She forced a smile to her face as she looked at Hutch. "You go too Jenny. I want to be alone with Dave." She saw the other woman start to argue. "Please Jenny. I need to be on my own. There are things I have to say that are for Daves ears only even if he doesnt remember me saying them later on. Go home and rest. Ill need your strength later." Jenny nodded and, slipping an arm through Hutchs, the two left together.

********************

During all the time in which Hutch, Dobey and the other police officers spent inside the warehouse, Kathy had remained hidden behind a patrol car, looking scared at the entrance of the police, and minutes later at a couple of officers taking Gunther into a patrol car, the paramedics entering and coming out a few minutes later with the curly haired man on a stretcher, the lady, and another blond lady with her and Hutch. Finally a police officer named Evans approached towards the child.

"Come on honey. Come with me." Evans said bending towards Kathy, smiling friendly and stretching his hand towards the scared child.

"Whewhere we goAm I under arrest?"

"Oh, noNo honey. You have nothing to be scared ofYouve been a very brave girl, and now I must take you to the precinct again, but youre not under arrest."

"How is the curly haired man doing?...And the lady?"

"Oh, well. Theyll both be fine, Kathy. Don't worry." Evans answered with a false optimism, taking the child towards his patrol car. During the ride to the precinct Kathy remained silent, answering Evans words and questions, with some a monosyllable or shaking and nodding her head. Obviously she wouldnt be much help to discover why so young a girl was wandering around the streets instead of being in her own house or the school.

Meantime Jim Mitchell made some calls, trying to find some information on Kathy. The girl hadnt fled from any orphanage and nobody had reported her disappearance. He made a call to his wife too, explaining briefly something of the situation.

"Alright, Jim. Bring the child home. Maybe here youll get some information from her."

"Thanks, SuzieReally, Kathy needs some loveAnd a good meal too, by the wayAh! Talk with Alex about this pleaseI love you Suzie." Mitchell hung up the receiver thinking with a shiver what would have happened to Starsky if Kathy had not been in the wrong place at the right time.

Kathy spent a while at the precinct, spoilt by Minnie, Jennie and Mitchell who gave the child a couple of sugar bars and a can of coke. A couple of hours later, when he finished his working day, Jim Mitchell and Kathy arrived at his house. Suzie was in the kitchen fixing a delicious dinner, and Alex, their nine year old son was in the living room watching cartoons on TV. On seeing his father he rushed towards him. Mitchell lifted the boy in his arms, kissing him.

"Hi son. Wheres mom?"

"In the kitchen." But at that moment Suzie came into the living room. The couple kissed briefly and Mitchell introduced Kathy to his family.

"Suzie, Alex. This is KathyShe has been a very brave girl today helping us to find a kidnapped and wounded detective and, if you agree, she will spend a few days with us." Mitchell said looking at his son.

"Wow! You did that? Tell me how you did it? Who was the detective? Did you see the kidnappers? Were they armed?" Alex was asking all these questions, as Kathy remained in silence, half-hidden behind Jim.

"HeyHey Alex. Give Kathy a break okay? Both of you will have lots of time to talk later. First she will come with me to take a warm bath and dress in some warm pyjamas before dinner. Okay Kathy?" The little girl nodded shyly, taking the hand that Suzie held towards her.

After her bath the child simply seemed to be a different person. Her long brown hair was shining, and, dressed in a pair of Alex pyjamas, she seemed again the little girl that she really was.

During dinner, Kathy voraciously ate a big plate of roasted chicken, peas, carrots and mash potatoes, accompanied by a big glass of milk knowing scarcely how to use the cutlery. While Mitchell and his family still had food on their plates the child had finished hers and was looking eagerly at the remaining food in the serving dish.

"Would you like to eat some more honey?" Suzie asked

"Y...YesPlease."

"Sure Kathy. You can eat as much as you want."

After two full plates of food, two glasses of milk, and while the child was eating a generous portion of chocolate cake Jim Mitchell tried again to find out something more on the mysterious little girl.

"Kathy. Honey. I asked you before where your parents are, and though you told me that you dont know I´d like you to try to remember."

"Why?"

"Well, because I'm sure that they must be very worried about you."

"Oh, not. I don't think so."

"Why Kathy. Tell me why."

"Youll take me to jail if I tell you?" Asked Kathy mistrustingly.

"No, honey. Of course not."

"My grandma says that Im a bad girl and the police will take me to jail... And you are a cop. Right?"

"Yeah Kathy. Im a copBut you arent a bad girl. You helped Dave, and youre a good, kind girl." The child showed a toothless smile and become serious again before answering

"My mom is dead. Dad killed her."

"WHAT??" Mitchell almost was choked on a sip of coffee.

"I didnt want to tell you because I dont want go to jail.... But you seem a good guy." Kathy paused some seconds before speaking again. "My dad killed my mom a long time ago, and since then, I live with my grandmaBut she doesnt love meShe spends all day drunk, and sheShe and JoeThey beat me... I don't want to go back to them, please ... Please Jim... I don't want to go back there. I want to stay here!!" Kathy begged crying disconsolately, winding her thin arms around Mitchells neck.

***************

Sitting down besides Starskys bed, and caressing his silver ring placed now on one of her own fingers Vicky felt the tears wanting to escape from her eyes and her mind was fighting to take away the images of the atrocious nightmare lived hours before. She had recovered the beautiful memories of her relationship with Dave and the girl was seizing on them as only way to fight against the horror that was striking her soul over and over. The first time she met Starsky in her house, the first Thanksgiving Day together, the first Christmas, their wonderful wedding day, and honeymoon in Hawaii.

It was a physical effort to keep away the memories of the whips crack against the Starskys back, the sound of his shouts in pain, the vision of his blood pouring from his body convulsed in agony...And the only thing really useful to keep away all those awful images was to think of her babyStarskys baby.

"Dave, sweetheart, we are here." Vicky took Starsky´s hand, caressing lovingly his hair. "Me and our baby, and we will be here with you until we can to return to our house together Dave, I remembered, I remember you, I remember all our moments together...And there is something that I want you to know. Even when I couldnt remember you, I loved you Dave. I love you and our baby too. Now I just need that you get better"

"Vicky" Starsky said in a weak whisper, with his eyes just half-open. She rose from the chair approaching him with her eyes tarnished by tears.

"Take it easy lover. Im here Are you in much pain?"

"Vicky...Are you okay?"

"I´m fine, Dave. Don't worry.

Vicky, You need rest. Go home."

"No Dave. Im not going anywhere.I just want to be here with you."

"I...I´m sorry Vicky. I´d never wanted you to see anything like that"

"Dave, my sweetheart, It wasnt your fault... Its all over. Now just rest. I´ll be here with you." Vicky moistened a tissue to ease the dryness of his lips and she kissed his forehead as he was falling again in a heavy stupor loaded with pain, while a nurse entered to put another dose of analgesic in his IV.

She spent a long while looking at the sleeping man lying on the bed and trying to escape the hard reality that was wrapping around them, looking for a little hope in the deepest regions of her heart.

Before going to LA County Jail, Hutch took Jenny to her house. All the way there a deep silence invaded the car. Hutch kept his eyes fixed on the highway and Jenny was looking absently across the window, until low sobs broke the silence. Hutch stopped the car on the verge and put a comforting hand on Jennys shoulder.

"Come on Jenny. Don't break down now. Youre a brave woman, and now it's over."

Jenny turned, her body rushing into his arms.

"NO!! Its not all over Hutch, and you know it, the pain, the fear, the nightmares for Vicky and David, they have just begun...God in Heaven Hutch. They were so happy... And now"

"Now they will fight to be happy again and they will make it Jenny."

"You seem very sure of it Hutch."

"I dont have any other choice. Besides, I know Starsky. He´s the strongest man I knowand right now he has two good reasons to look forward." Hutch said with the shadow of a smile on his lips.

"Sorry Hutch. Im afraid Im acting like a scared child, but what I saw today in that warehouse...So much horror I know that you told me not to go in....but"

"Jenny. You have nothing to be sorry about." Jenny was still between Hutchs warm arms. As he was taking a lock of her blond hair from her face, the girl approached her lips towards his and both were fused in a fierce kiss as if in each others arms was the only safe place to fly from all the anguish. Finally, both released their embrace.

"Sorry Hutch But I needed it and you too... I guess."

"Never mind Jenny. Don't think anymore about it, okay?" Hutch started the car and the rest of the journey to Jenny´s place was made in silence. This was not the right moment to think about it, but in spite all of their ideas to be just good friends, obviously between Jenny and Hutch, a strong feeling was growing up. And both knew it.

A while later Hutch entered the prison and soon he was in front of Gunther, looking coldly at the old man, who was in a bed of the prisons sick bay, with his broken arm plastered.

"Gunther. I am not going to waste more time with you than strictly necessary to give you some news."

"I know, I know Hutchinson...You want to tell me that your damned friend Starsky is dead, and that youll take revenge... Let me tell you something detective. There is no way that you can do me even the least hurt, and you know it... I only have a few months of life in front of me. Soon Ill be dead... and you are too good a cop to kill me right now... No Hutchinson. Ill die, but until that day comes I´ll fall asleep every night seeing in my mind over and over the delicious images of your friend, hanging as a piece of meat and squirming from the pain until he died." Hutch closed his eyes tightly for a second, fighting against the painful image drawn in his mind. Then he spoke again.

"No Gunther. Wrong answer...Starsky is alive. He´ll live to see his baby growing up until it becomes a good man or woman. An honest, loyal and good person like him, while youll lie under six feet of dirty ground with the worms devouring your rotten heart Whats the matter Gunther?...You didnt know ? In a few months Starsky and his wife will have a baby. YOU FAILED GUNTHER. AGAIN!! AND THIS WAS YOUR LAST CHANCE BEFORE GOING TO HELL WITH YOUR DAMNED FRIENDS!! BECAUSE YOU´LL BE HERE IN AN ISOLATION CELL WITH NO VISITORS OR PHONE CALLS, WITH NO CHANCE TO GO OUT OF HERE UNTIL YOUR DYING DAY!!

Gunther became pale and his evil smile disappeared from his lips.

"The doctors say that youll die due to cancer, but theyre all wrong Gunther." Hutch said in a calm tone, his face only a few inches in front Gunthers face. "It´s not cancer that will devour your body to finish your life....Whats eating your entrails is hatred. Hatred and evilness!" After those words, Hutch, feeling more tired than ever, simply left the jail heading back to the hospital.

Vicky fell down asleep in an uncomfortable chair, overwhelmed by exhaustion, until Starsky, tossing and turning in his bed, woke her sharply. The line on the screen of the heart monitor was jumping erratically and under his eyelids his eyes were moving quickly, while from his lips, weak blurred words were escaping.

"No!...P...PleaseNo...Help...Help me".

"Dave!...OH GOD! Dave, wake up!!...Wake up honey." Vicky, very scared, managed to hold him in her arms as she pushed the button to call for a nurse.

"Shhh, sweetheart, wake up. Davy, wake up. Its just a nightmare. PLEASE WAKE UP!!" Vicky said desperately plunging her face into his curls. But Starsky was a prisoner in some kind of agonizing nightmare, upset and waving his arms, pulling the IV from his arm in spite of Vickys efforts to hold him. A thin thread of blood began to flow from his arm staining the sheets and Vickys hands.

Hutch was coming out from the lift when he saw two nurses and Doctor Kellerman running towards Starskys room. After what seemed hours but were just seconds, they rushed into the room followed by a scared Hutch

One of the nurses gently but firmly pulled Vicky away from the bedside and she fell into Hutchs arms. They closed around her as though trying to protect her from the scene in front of them. Dr Kellerman was quickly but efficiently checking his patient from top to bottom, all the time giving orders to the two nurses with him who busied themselves doing as they were asked. Both knew the history of this particular patient and they were determined to help in every possible way. Hutch and Vicky watched as different fluids were pumped in to the I.V and Dr Kellerman administered an injection. Slowly they could see Starsky begin to calm until at last he was lying quite once more, his breathing slightly fast but not causing too much concern. Finally the Dr looked at them.

"Everything´s okay know Mrs Starsky. Some kind of reaction to the medicines hes been given but we´ve sorted it out know and he should be fine. Let him sleep its the best medicine of all. His mind needs time to heal almost as much as his body."

"Whats that supposed to mean Doc?" Hutchs voice was tired and clipped from hours of no sleep and worry.

"What Dave went through no person should ever have to go through Hutch." The Drs voice was gentle and calm, understanding the tone used to him. "The human mind has a way of protecting itself under such circumstances. You could compare it to Vietnam vets and those from Korea, WW1, WW2 or any other damn war this country has ever sent its young men to fight in. Its a survival instinct if you like. While were awake we shut out what we dont want to see or remember in order to get from day to day and our bodies work almost as though programmed. Sometimes its the only way we can stop from going insane. At night though, or when were asleep sometimes those memories fight to return and you both saw the results with Dave. He was in Nam wasnt he Hutch? I bet hes never really talked to you about it though. Hes had plenty of practise at shutting things out and this time is no different. Trouble is, if hes ever going to move forward from what happened hes going to have to face it sooner or laterpreferably sooner!" Kellerman paused for a moment before continuing in a soft voice. "Why dont you both get some rest. Dave will sleep for the rest of the night and the both of you look like you need it. I´ll get the nurses to set you up a couple of beds in the next room just for tonight. That way youll both be close to Dave."

Hutch looked at Vicky. He could see how close to collapse she was.

"Okay Doc, thanks. Wed appreciate that. Come on Vicky lets give sleeping beauty here some peace and get some sleep." Vicky was about to object but Hutch cut her off. " If not for you then for Kenneth junior in there." Hutch pointed to Vickys stomach and she quickly placed her hand on it. "Starsk would want you to do what was best for both of you."

Vicky allowed Hutch to lead her from the room, but not before she gently kissed Starsky´s forehead. "I wont be far away Dave. Our baby needs his Mum to keep her strength up for both of you." She gently smoothed Starsky´s curls before returning to Hutch.

In the next room the nurses quickly made up the beds. "Its not the Ritz I´m afraid but it should be comfortable enough. Theres a small kitchen behind the nurses station, you can make yourself some coffee if you want it. Canteen opens at seven for breakfastI wouldnt recommend the scrambled eggs though, stick to the grapefruit and cereals if you care about your stomachs." The nurse who had spoken smiled at them both before leaving them. Vicky waited until she and Hutch were alone before collapsing on the bed tears streaming down her face. Hutch immediately went to her side and held her close.

"Hey come on. Its gonna be okay. No more tears. Starsky wouldnt want that...he hates soapy scenes." He fumbled in his pocket for a few minutes before finding a clean handkerchief, which he gave to the vulnerable woman.

Vicky wiped her face and swallowed the tears that were still threatening to fall.

"II thought Oh God Hutch. When will this all end?"

"I know what you thought Vicky but theres something you should know about the man you married. Starsky is one of the most pigheaded men youll ever meet. He isnt about to go anywhere he doesnt want to go" Hutch paused. "Starsky loves you too much to just give up Vicky. Hell fight with every ounce of fibre he has to come back whole... and hell succeed. Believe me Ive seen it before. They gave him up once before and he proved them wrong, hell do it again. No way is Starsk gonna let Gunther win. You just remember that, whatever happens and however long it takes, you remember that."

Hutchs voice had become firm and strong and Vicky looked directly at him for the first time that evening.

"This must be hard for you Hutch. You´ve been here before havent you?" She watched as Hutch nodded slightly before dropping on to the second bed. "How did you get through it Hutch? I want to believe it will all be okay but when I look at him lying there I cant. What makes you both want to be cops when you have to lay your lives on the line all the time?"

Hutch looked at Vicky as he thought how to answer her questions.

"What makes us want to be cops? Thats a hard one Vicky. For me it was a need to do something that I felt was right. Something that I could be good atand hopefully do some good at the same time. For Starsky it was more. It was a dream. Had been since he was a kid. He saw his Dad killed in front of him and still it couldnt alter his dream. He just wanted to be the best cop there could be for his Dad to be proud of. He would be too! Im positive of that! And somewhere along the road, just occasionally, everything becomes worthwhile. What you do makes a difference in a way that matters. Little Kathy for instance. If this all had to happen then at least that poor little kid is going to get a chance in life because of it." Hutch turned to look out of the small window at the city lights below. "And Yeh! Ive been here before. A couple of times." Hutch heard the slight intake of breath and turned to look at Vicky again. "The first time we came this close another guy with a grudge paid a low life name of Bellamy to poison Starsk. He gave us twenty-four hours and they were both the longest and shortest twenty-four hours Ive ever lived. By the time we found out it was Bellamy Starsk was hurting so bad he could hardly stand but he insisted on coming with me. I carried him up three flights of stairs before leaving him in Bellamys apartment." Hutchs eyes clouded over as he fought against the bad memories being dredged up. "Bellamy had run for the roof so I followed and thats when I realised I was defenceless. I couldnt do a damn thing without condemning Starsky to death. Bellamy had me bang to rights and I couldnt do a thing! The next thing I heard was Starskys baretta and Bellamy was dead. Somehow Starsky had dragged himself up the last flight of stairs and he used the last ounce of his strength to save me. When I asked him why he just whispered seemed like a good idea at the time. Then he dropped to the floor in my arms." Hutch paused again and swallowed hard. "He fought like crazy that time too. By the time I figured it all out we had minutes to spare. but he hung on. As for the last time well that was just too close. Starsky died, right there in the hospital, and Ive never felt so lost or helpless in my life. God knows how they got him back but they did and I thank God for it every day of my life. That was only the beginning of it all though Vicky. You should have seen how he had to fight to come back. Every time they told him to ease up, that he wouldnt make it, that he wouldnt be a cop any more he fought back harder than ever until he proved them all wrong. I watched him drag himself out of bed in the mornings and fall back in to it at night totally exhausted but just as totally determined. Every little bit of progress he made cost him so much in pain but still he kept on until he finally made it. It was a privilege to be there with him, watching it, being a part of it. This time it will be you to help him Vicky. Youll have to be firm, strong, thick skinned when he curses you but most of all youll have to just be there, loving him and giving him the strength to keep on. Hell make it if he can rely on that, if he can use your strength and your loving." Hutch moved to sit beside her. "How about it Vicky. Do you think youre strong enough? Do you love him that much? It will take every ounce of strength you have and more but it will be worth it in the end. Starsky loves you and he doesnt give his love lightly, it has to be earned. Thats what helps make it so special I guess because once youve got it its yours, for ever and ever."

Vicky turned her face to Hutch and finally he could see a spark of determination in her eyes. "I love him that much Hutch. I never though it was possible to feel about anyone like I do about Dave but I do. I think I have the strength butif I falter a littlethen youll be there for me Hutch. I know that much. Thank you for being here with me right now." She paused a second. "Dave will make it because this time he has both of usRight?"

Hutch, tears in his eyes, nodded. "Rightnow lets both get some rest. Were gonna need it in the days to come". Hutch kissed Vicky softly on the cheek before returning to his bed and lying down on it. Before falling into a long overdue and much needed sleep he silently thanked whoever watched over his partner for bringing this young woman into his life.

Vicky lay on the bed listening to Hutch breathing softly and she thought of her husband lying in the bed in the next room. Putting her hand on her stomach she quietly whispered, "Hi little one. Your Daddy and I love you and we may not be the best parents in the world but we intend to have a damn good go at it. And somehow I think that if we make a mess of it then youll have Uncle Hutch and Auntie Jenny to stick up for you. When youre grown a little and old enough to understand than Im going to make sure that you know what a very special guy your daddy is." With that Vicky too slipped away in to a restful sleep.

Some hours later, still at night, Hutch woke to find that Vicky wasnt there. Getting up from his bed he headed towards Starskys room to find his friend sleeping peacefully, while Vicky was covering him lovingly with another blanket. During this demonstration of tenderness towards his best friend Hutch spent some seconds in the door simply listening to Vickys soothing words trying to swallow a lump in his throat.

"Now you´ll be more comfortable, and you´ll not feel cold...Sleep, my sweetheart. I´m here and no nightmare can scare you." Vicky sat down in her chair fingering Starskys hair. Then, she noticed Hutchs presence in the room

"Sorry Hutch, I didnt want to wake you. It's just that I couldnt sleep. I wanted to be here; I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up...The nightmares might return."

"Its okay Vicky. I couldnt sleep either... And I wanted to be with Starsk too." Hutch answered with a tired smile. They spent some minutes in silence until Hutch, rising from his chair and heading towards the window, spoke.

"At last, its dawn"

"A pretty long night uh?" Vicky answered, rubbing the back of her neck tiredly. "Do you know what day it is today Hutch?"

He nodded "May 15th. Two years ago Gunther shot Starsky. My God! Its seems a macabre joke!"

"But its real...Too real."

"Come on, Vicky. Youre doing fine." Hutch approached towards her, squeezing her shoulder gently. "And now Ill take you home to have some rest. Okay?"

"No, Hutch. I want to be here when Dave wakes up." At that moment, Starsky, opening his eyes, began to move slightly on the bed with a low groan. Quickly Vicky bent towards him, taking his hand.

"Hey, lover. Im here and Hutch is here tooHow are you feeling?" Starsky´s unexpected answer surprised them both.

"I´ll feel much better if both of you leave me alone and you try to live a normal life!"

"Starsk"

"Not Hutch. Don't say anything. You have to go to work. And you Vicky, you need rest."

"Dave..."

Starsky looked fixedly into Vicky´s eyes, with such a look that she had never seen before.

"Vicky. Please leave me alone...Please. I need it." After these words he turned, carefully and painfully, in his bed, his back to both of them.

Vicky wanted to say something, but Hutch softly took her arm, shaking his head almost imperceptively. "We´ll return later Starsk."

Vicky gently kissed his cheek and both left the room

"Why Hutch Why does he want us to leave?"

"Vicky try not to worry...I know Starsky, and I can picture what hes thinking about right now...He hates hospitals, and hates to cause worry to people he loves. He knows, that this time, his way back to normality wont be easy either. Hes scared, and at times he reacts like this under pressure...Come on Vicky. Go home and rest a little. Later well come back to be with him. Maybe then he´ll feel a little better." Neither saw that, as both were leaving the room, a silent tear was slipping down the Starskys cheek onto the pillow.

When Vicky returned to her house it seemed to her the most inhospitable and lonely place in the world. The last time she was there was the morning she went to work ... awhile later the surgery had blown up and, since then, the last few days were an apparently interminable succession of horrors.

"Dad is scared and sad, and I don't know how I can help him. Or even if I´ll be able to do it. What can I do my child...What can I do?" Vicky lied exhausted on her bed, caressing her abdomen and talking to her baby, letting the tears run freely down her cheeks until she fell into an unsettled sleep filled with nightmares.

Some hours later Vicky was back at Starskys bedside.

"Hi Honey." she said, kissing him. Starsky was awake but simply greeted his wife with the mearest nod of his head.

He spent most of the day sleeping and, in the times he was awake, scarcely wanted to speak. He was obviously in pain, though he never mentioned it. At the same time he didnt mention what the day was, and of course neither Vicky nor Hutch mentioned it either. Both supposed that Starsky remembered the date perfectly well.

Two days later Dr Kellerman removed the oxygen and the IV and Starsky was moved to a normal room. That day, as a first lunch, a nurse brought him a bowl of soup and another one of jelly. His bandaged hands prevented him from taking the spoon, and Vicky helped him to eat but it only served to increase his bad temper and he scarcely ate any of his food.

The next days in the hospital were full of painful treatment to his injured back and wrists, and tests to his heart, while Starsky continued in stubborn silence showing the same strange demeanour towards Vicky and Hutch. She spent all her time taking care of him with a moving love, and every day became more exhausted, depressed and even visibly losing weight, without a minute for herself. In fact Jenny and Hutch were forcing her to eat and rest a little, and to keep the appointments with her doctors to check the possible effects of her amnesia, and her pregnancy.

At no time did Starsky speak about all the fears and memories that still were nesting in his mind, nor about the nightmares that were invading his nights, and all efforts to help him were useless.

Vicky refused firmly to leave the hospital at nights, and finally Kellerman had have a bed placed in Starskys room for her, so frequently was her sleep ending sharply whenever a nightmare woke Starsky in spite of the sleeping pills. Then Vicky too was abruptly woken up, to take him between her arms, whispering soft words, until he slept again.

The days though were very different. Then the only thing that Vicky and Hutch got to see was an increasingly sad and impatient Starsky.

At the same time, outside the hospitals walls, life was going on

Jim Mitchell didnt need a lot of time to find out some things about little Kathy. Her father was a drug dealer and addict called Mark Harris, who had killed her mother four years ago when Kathy was just six years old. When he entered prison the child went to live with her grandmother and her second husband, but neither of the two had sufficient patience and love to take care of Kathy. They only knew how to get drunk and do some dirty work to survive. Beatings were something usual in the life of the unhappy little girl. One day she fled, and her grandmother didnt report her disappearance, and didnt do anything to find her. Kathy spent a couple of days wandering around the city until finding a fairly comfortable place to sleep in the warehouse where she found Vicky and Starsky.

Juvenile denounced her grandmother for negligence in the care of the child and knew if they were returned Kathy to her house they would be condemning her to a life of misery, delinquency and despair. Mitchell knew it too. So now he had to find a solution for the childs future. She spent some days in the Mitchells place and, during this short time, the child was happier than ever before. At same time Jim and his family were becoming more fond of her, even thinking of the possibility of getting custody or maybe adoption at the right moment.But the way up to this would be hard and long.

As for Jenny and Hutch, one day, going out from the hospital they had no alternative but to face their feelings. One afternoon when Hutch took Jenny to her house he stopped.

"Jenny We should talk. Can I come in?"

"Sure Hutch. Whats the matter?" Jenny asked opening her front door, and scratching Samsons head, who was in her house again until Vicky and Starsky returned home.

"Jenny, I´m not sure how to tell this. I mean, how to speak on my...On our feelings."

"No, Hutch. Please. Weve spoken about this before."

"I know Jenny. But something is happening between us, and you know it as well I do."

"We´re friends, Hutch. That was the deal"

"Jenny. In the last weeks I keep thinking of you. I know. Im talking like some teenager. But its the truth." Hutch surrounded Jenny with his arms. "Jenny, can you really say that you arent feeling the same thing?"

"No Hutch I can't. I wish I could, but I can't."

"Do you think that it will be a mistake?"

"Yes...And Im scared."

"You! Scared! Come on Jenny. You are the bravest woman I know"

"But..."

"But at times we must take some risks Don't you think so Jenny?"

"Right now, Im afraid Im not capable of thinking anything Hutch..." Jenny kissed Hutch, shyly at first, then, passionately. From that moment no more words were needed. Both had lived in the past through some disastrous relationships. Both were friends and both were scared of breaking a beautiful friendship but, simply, such strong feelings couldnt remain hidden any longer

The following days were a mass of confusion and anger for Starsky An uncontrollable anger against the fate, which was striking him and the people he loved without mercy over and over.

He was becoming more distant with Vicky and Hutch, knowing that it was hurting them, but not knowing know how avoid it. In those days, even he didnt know himself any more. He was deeply sad, seeing what was normally a happy time for any other newly married couple, for them was just a time of pain, fear and confusion. His mind began to feed the idea that he couldnt protect Vicky from the risk of possible future dangers, nor make her happy in spite of the love they were felt for each other. He began to think that maybe Vicky, that wonderful woman whom he loved with all of his heart, would be more happy, and safer, without him.

Nevertheless, his physical injuries were healing nicely and, two weeks later after a hard recovery, finally Starsky was ready to leave the hospital.

The day before, Dr Kellerman, spoke with Vicky and Hutch about his condition.

"David will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow morning. Fortunately, he hasnt suffered any complications that could have been very serious and the wounds in his back and wrists have recovered well. Nevertheless, his emotional condition worries me, though I suppose you they have noticed it already...David is not a fool and he knows that a return to work will be difficult. Besides, he has still nightmares, and fearsIn short: Hes breaking down, and the worst thing is that he refuses over and over to see a psychologist...And in spite of all your good intentions, Im afraid that maybe only a professional could help him."

The next morning Starsky left the hospital. Vicky fervently wanted to believe that returning to the familiar and calm environment of their home, her love and care, would help him in his recovery, and if they were together nothing would prevent that their life becoming happy againBut she knew that the way would be very hard

Silent days, cold monosyllabics as answer, lonely nights in which, though Vicky and Starsky were sleeping in the same bed, the embraces and tenderness they had disappeared. His shouts in the night, due to some frightful nightmare Attempts and more attempts to get through to him, his anguish, his fears... It was everything that was filling Vicky's life since the day Starsky returned home.

A week on and it was almost teatime when Jenny arrived at the house to find Vicky standing at the window staring out. She moved to stand at her friends side and looked out to see Starsky sitting cross-legged on the floor underneath the shade of an apple tree gently stroking Samson´s head as the big dog laid with its head on his knee.

"Dave is worse with every passing day... I thought that I could help him, but it seems I was totally wrong...I love him but I dont know what to do...Its as if just my presence, or even Hutch, bothers him At times hes so rude to me... I´ve even begun to think that maybe he doesnt love me any more. Look at him. Hes been out there since this morning Jen. He refuses to eat, to come in or take his painkillers. Ive tried everything I know but I cant get through to him." Vickys voice was filled with emotion and she turned to look at her friend. "Hes barely spoken two words to me and if I try to help him he cuts me off cold. Its like Im married to a total stranger, I dont know him anymore Jenny."

Gently the blond moved her friend away from the window to the couch and made her sit down. Moving to the kitchen she poured a cup of strong sweet coffee and put it into her friends hands.

"Drink it!" Jenny watched as Vicky slowly sipped the liquid, forcing each mouthful down. "Vicky youre exhausted. You have to rest or youll make yourself ill and then youll be no good to Dave or your baby. I want you to go and lie down for a while, I´ll keep an eye on everything here."

Despite Vicky´s protests Jenny remained firm and eventually succeeded in getting her friend to go and lie down with a promise to call her if she were needed. Once she had Vicky settled she set about making some fresh coffee and warming up a pizza before taking both outside to Starsky. Without a word she sat down next to the still, silent figure and lay the tray between them. Picking up a piece of the pizza she began to eat, all the time watching Starsky without it being obvious. Swilling her food down with her coffee she then wrapped her arms around her knees

"The rest is for you. You dont have to talk if you dont want to Dave but you do have to eat. Its not fair on Vicky if you make yourself ill again. Shes got enough to worry about with the baby." For the first time Jenny looked directly at the man sitting next to her. Stop shutting us out Dave, all anyone wants to do is help. Surely you can see that.

For a moment Starsky just looked at the girl who had dared to invade his privacy. Then he picked up a piece of the pizza and broke it into pieces, which he fed to the dog.

"The only help I need is to be left alone so why dont you go away before I make you!"

Jenny finally lost her temper. "My, my, Starsky. Threatening me are you. And what do you think Hutch would have to say about that if he knew? You are unbelievable do you know that? Everyone has bent over backwards for you, weve made excuses for your appalling behaviour, weve even made allowances for your downright rudeness but I think you just went one step too far!" Jenny´s voice dropped a little as she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. "Look Dave, were all worried about you but the only one who knows what you went through was Vicky. She could help you if only youd let her but you keep shutting her out. Dammit Dave, she´s you wife"

"Yeh! Well maybe shed be better off if she werent." Starsky´s voice broke in to Jenny´s words, stabbing her like a knife to the heart.

"You dont mean that Dave. You and Vicky were meant for each other. Besides shes pregnant if you recall. You were so happy when you found out, or have you forgotten that too? Vicky needs you, they both need you."

Starsky rose from his seat and quietly called the dog to him. "Listen Jenny, and pay attention, because I don't want to repeat it. Everything's just fine. Vicky is recovered from her amnesia, I'm home again, and the baby is okay...And everything will be even better if you stop your boring sermons and you keep your meddling nose out of our lives just for a change" Jenny felt a shiver at the look in Starskys cold eyes. "Im taking Samson for a walk." He walked to the gate and out into the alley behind. "When I get back I dont expect to see you, okay?" With that he was gone. Jenny watched as they both jogged slowly up the alley and into the street behind.

"Nice one Jenny. What the hell do you tell Vicky when she wakes up and her husband has gone walk about?" Exasperated Jenny picked up the tray and returned inside the house. For a moment she was unsure of what to do then, picking up the phone, she dialled the number she held close to her own heart.

"Hutchinson." The voice at the other end was tired and Jenny regretted having to call.

"Ken, its Jenny. Your partner just ran away."

"What the.what happened?" Hutch became instantly alert.

"I tried to get him to eat something and he threatened me so I lost my temper. We had wordsat least I did. Mostly he just sat and stared into the distance. Hutch Im worried about him. Some of the things he said there not Dave talking I know, but..."

"Okay Jenny calm down. I´ll find him and bring him home. Hows Vicky?"

"She´s asleep at the moment and I´d rather she stayed that way. Find him Ken, please."

Hutch ran to his car having paused just long enough to ring Huggy just in case their errant friend should turn up there. Over the next three hours Hutch searched everywhere he could possibly think of to find Starsky but nothing showed. Eventually he had exhausted every possibility and he headed for The Pits. A quick scan around the room told him what he already knew. Starsky was nowhere to be seen. Huggy saw him looking and shook his head.

"Sorry Bro" Aint been no sign of our curly haired friend. If there had Id have called you."

"Yeh I know Hug, but Ive run out of places to try and I need a coffee."

Huggy poured Hutch a cup of strong coffee and set it down in front of him. "What do you suppose is going on in that stubborn head of his Hutch?"

"I wish I knew Hug. All Im sure of is hes built a wall the like of which Ive never seen before and I dont know how to break it down. All any of us can do is to be there and wait for the dam to break. I just hope that it breaks sooner rather than later, for everybodys sake. Its like hes a total stranger Huggy. Hes had some pretty black moods since Ive known him but nothing like this. Ive never seen him like it before."

"I have." The words came out like a statement. "Dont look so surprised Hutch. Ive known Starsky longer than you have, remember.? He was like this when he came back from Vietnam. Did you know he was a prisoner of war for a month before he managed to escape? No you wouldnt. I only found out when he finally broke down after getting totally plastered and almost ending up behind bars after getting into a punch up with someone. Luckily I managed to calm the other guy down with the promise of free beer and a meal. I took Starsky home and left him on my couch to sober up and sometime in the night I woke up to him screaming. He was having one hell of a nightmare Hutch, but it seemed to serve as a release valve cos the next thing I knew it was all coming tumbling out. Everything hed seen, everything hed had to do just to survive, everything that theyd done to him in that camp, and it sure as hell wasnt pretty. I remember being sick as a parrot when he was finished. Thats what gotta happen this time too. Whatever those maniacs did to him in that warehouse hes locked it all away somewhere and until something or someone triggers it then its gonna keep eating away at Starsky from the inside like a maggot on an apple." Huggy stopped, looking at Hutch who had gone very white and quiet. "Youre gonna need to be strong Hutch. It aint easy listening to it all but it has to happen. I just hope its soon."

Hutch got up and left the bar. For a few moments he just sat in his car trying to grasp what he had just heard. He and Starsky had been friends for eight years and he thought they knew all there was to know about each other. He knew that Starsky had been in Vietnam but he also knew that it was something Starsky didnt talk about. News that he was a prisoner of war both shocked and saddened him.

"Control to Zebra three, I have a patch for you from Sergeant Mitchell."

Hutch picked up the mike. "Zebra three, patch him through." After a couple of minutes static Hutch heard the line clear. "Go ahead Jim, what can I do for you?"

"Just thought youd like to know that Starskys here. Hes out in the back yard with Kathy and that dog of his. Hell hardly speak to us but hes laughing and joking with her."

"Thanks Jim, Im on my way over. Try not to let him leave will you?"

"Sure thing Hutch."

Throwing the car into gear Hutch roared away from the kerb heading across town as fast as he could. When he arrived Jim Mitchell was waiting at the door. "Hes out the back still Hutch. Why dont you just come and watch?"

Hutch followed Jim through the house and up the stairs to the back bedroom. From there they could watch the scene below and hear what was being said.

"Come on Kathy, catch it quick before he grabs it." Starsky laughed at the young girl and Hutch realised that it had been a long time since he had heard anything like it coming from his partners lips. He watched as the girl and the dog both raced after the ball Starsk had thrown. Kathy just managed to grab it before Samson could get his teeth to it and she quickly threw it back to the waiting Starsky.

"Hey partner, what say we see if Mrs. Mitchell has some cold lemonade in her fridge." "Im about pooped." Kathy nodded and headed for the kitchen. She let out a squeal as Starsky grabbed her from behind and lifted her high in to the air. Holding her close Starsky looked at her grinning. "Know something Kathy?" The youngster shook her head. "I hope my little girl is as pretty as you." Gently Starsky lowered her to the ground swallowing at the lump in his throat. As he did so the sleeve of his jacket pulled up revealing the scar around his wrist. He hurried to pull it back down but Kathy had seen it and gently she touched the angry blemish with her fingers before softly kissing it with her lips.

"There you go, all better now. Mum used to kiss my hurts better like that and it always helped."

For a moment Starsky just looked at the young girl in front of him. Then he quickly turned and, whistling Samson, he ran out through the house. Hurriedly Hutch tore down the stairs and out into the street behind him.

"Starsk!" Hutch yelled after the disappearing figure. "Starsk wait!" He tore down the street after his friend but Starsky seemed to be filled with super strength and Hutch was being left behind. Quickly he raced back to his car and, spinning it around on the handbrake, he tore off. As he chased after the fleeing figure he could see the big dog being left behind. Screeching to a halt Hutch opened the door and yelled for the animal to get in before once more tearing off after his partner. This time Hutch realised the direction in which Starsky was travelling. Taking as many risks as he could Hutch headed for the beach just in time to see Starsky racing along the cold sand towards the ocean.

Opening the door he looked at the dog. "Come on Samson. Go catch him, if you can."

The now rested dog tore out of the car after the human he considered his best friend. Catching him up just before the waters edge Samson ran in front of Starsky and, thinking it was a huge game, he proceeded to leap about around him. Unable to see clearly from the tears that were streaming down his face Starsky got his legs entangled with the dog´s and both ended up in a heap on the sand. Hutch, running after the pair, stopped some yards away and watched as Starsky grabbed the dog burying his head into the soft fur. As he watched Starsky´s shoulders began to shake and the pain finally came flooding out in an unrecognisable, guttural scream that emanated from somewhere deep within Starsky´s throat. For a few moments Hutch just stood and watched, allowing his friend to give vent to all of his emotions. When at last the shaking began to calm he stepped forward to place his hand on Starskys shoulder. Starskys head snapped upwards and for a brief second Hutch could see total fear etched into the features. Then just as quickly he saw recognition replace it. Letting go of the dog Starsky reached out and grabbed Hutch´s coat, hanging on so tight that Hutch thought the seams would give way. Kneeling down beside Starsky he pulled him into a hug, gently rubbing his back with his huge hands as he whispered words of comfort in the same way a father would to a scared child.

"Shh...Take it easy Starsk. Im here. It's over partner. It's over"

"NO!!...It's not over. And it never will be...NEVER!!...For so many years I kept the memories shut in somewhere ...But after what they did to me in that warehouse" Hutch knew that the floodgates of his friends mind were beginning to open and he rapidly realised that Starsky was speaking of his Nam memories. "I spent twenty-six days as his prisoner Hutch. Twenty-six days in a dark cell, surrounded by rats, spiders, and snakes, eating only stale bread and dirty water. You know Hutch? ... In that cell...There... There was a rope. One day I wanted to hang myself with it... But I couldnt. I´d wished I could but I couldnt do it. Until, finally, a day arrived when they took me out of there, to hang me on a post in the middle of that camp. I spent days being beating for all of them, with his fists, with a whip, a cane Without sleep or food. Seeing how they were torturing and killing my division companions, my friends, in front of me. Hearing his shouts You know? Jake was only 20. He had a fiancée. Cindy, and he wanted get marriedBut theythose damned Charlies tortured him to death. Beating him, burning his body with cigarettesdepriving him of sleep. Over and over, until the daythe day when, in front of my eyes, they sprayed his body with gasoline and set fire to him. I can still hear the screams" A convulsed weeping interrupted Starsky´s words. Hutch wanted to put a stop to those awful memories, but he knew that his friend needed to continue speaking, to extract from his soul all the horror

And there were many more horrors that he listened to from Starskys lips that evening. Things he was thinking that nobody could see or suffer without losing his mindThings he was thinking that no human being could do to another. Hutch felt sick to his stomach and wished it would stop but he knew he was powerless to make it.

After hours of nightmarish memories and tears, and without them realising, night had fallen on the beach.

"Come on Gordo...Its getting cold here, and Vicky must be worried to death about you." Hutch said, helping Starsky to his feet.

"Vicky...You know Hutch? These past days Ive been a true bastard to her. And to you too, I guess. Im sorry. Maybe Im going mad."

"Its okay Starsk. I understand it. And Im sure Vicky does too. Your wife is a very special girl partner. Dont you know that?"

"Im scared Hutch. Im scared of not being able to protect her and the baby. Ive thought...Hutch. Ive thought about asking her for a divorce. All I would ask her for was to see the baby whenever I wanted... Of course I would help her in everything that..."

"STARSKY!! Partner. You cant be serious You love Vicky. And she loves you."

"Precisely because of this. I havent been capable of protecting her"

"Starsk. You went through something that no man should go through and now you cant think clearly. Ill say you what we are going to do right now. Im taking you to home to your wife, and once there youll begin to show her all your love and youll both begin to get ready to be the best parents in the whole world."

"But if I cant protect them from... "

"No, Starsk...No more words on this. Okay?" Hutch said firmly pointing his forefinger in front of Starskys face before putting his arm around his shoulders and taking him to the car.

"Hutch?"

"Yeah"

"One more timeThanks. Im wondering how you and Vicky can stand me at times." Hutch answered simply with a smile and a kind squeeze to his friends knee.

"Where´s Dave?" Vicky had got up from her bed after a long sleep, entering the kitchen where Jenny was fixing some dinner for her.

"Hey, Vick! You scared me."

"Where´s Dave Jenny?" Vicky repeated her question, looking around.

"Dave´s gone, Vicky."

"What do you mean Dave´s gone, Jenny?"

"Come here Vicky, sit down."

"JENNY!!...Where´s my husband?"

"He...He and me. Well, we had some words. He got angry... and went out for a walk with Samson... But Hutch is looking for him."

"How long?"

"Roughly four hours. Im sorry Vicky."

"DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!" Vicky shouted out, beating with her hand on the table. "Jenny, you didnt have any right!!...He´s upset, sick, still weak. He needs his pain pills."

"I know Vicky, I know. But I spoke to him with best intentions ... He couldnt spend the whole day and night as well in that fucking yard like a Christmas tree."

"Beautiful! So, hes not there all day, but God know where he is now. Tell me something. When you were going to tell me Jenny?...Oh, never mind" Vicky said waving her hand.

"You don´t know how sorry I am Vick."

Vicky, with her eyes tarnished by tears, grabbed her car key and headed to the door.

"Where are you going, Vicky?"

"Where do you think Im going? To search for Dave of course. AND ALONE!...You´ve done enough for today!" At that moment the front door was unlocked and Hutch came in the house with his arm circling the waist of an exhausted Starsky, with Samson some steps behind them.

"DAVE!! Dave, my sweetheart, are you okay?" In answer Starsky released himself from Hutch arm, embraced Vicky tightly, silently placing his head on her shoulder, his eyes closed.

They spent some minutes in this way, not noticing that Jenny and Hutch leaving the house. Vicky cuddled Starsky offering comfort as she would do to a child, until finally, she took him to bed.

Once there she help him to get undressed and into his pyjamas. When he was lying in bed she fixed a warm glass of milk to give him his night pain pill. Starsky was feeling tired, as though he hadnt slept in years, and after drinking just a couple of swallows, in a weak voice he managed to say

"Vicky...Vicky, Im sorry."

Dave...You dont need to say this."

"Yeah VickyI need to. Ive been a true asshole these last days. But I love you Vicky, you know that."

"Yes, I know it Dave. And I love you too. More every day." Vicky had covered Starsky with the bedcovers and sitting down on the bed she placed his head in her lap, smoothing sweetly his hair.

"Dave. Don't ask me why but I know that from this day forth, all will be all right You, our baby and I. And maybe more children in the future. We will be the happiest family in the world. Despite all the evilness that may surround us, well do it." Vicky remained for some minutes, speaking softly and caressing his curls, until seeing that Starsky was deeply sleeping, snoring softly and with a peaceful smile on his lips.

Vicky scarcely got any sleep that night. She spent the most of the night watching Starsky sleep, free from nightmares for the first time in many nights. The next morning she had an appointment with her gynaecologist for her first echography. It was very early in the morning and seeing Starsky so peaceful she didnt want to wake him so, after leaving a note on the nightstand for him, at 6am she went out towards her car.

"Can I go with you to your appointment with the doc Vick?" Jenny was sitting down on the hood of Vicky´s car, eating an apple.

"Jenny...But. Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah. 6 oclock, if my watch is working." Jenny answered with a shy smile "But I heard that peace offerings are more effective early in the morning. Vick, can you forgive me?" Jenny waved her white hanky.

"Oh, Come here dummy girl! Have I never told you that I cant spend too much time angry with you?" Both friends held each other in a comforting embrace before getting in the car to make their way to the surgery.

A while later Vicky was lying on the stretcher seizing Jenny´s hand, a little anxious and uncomfortable, while between "Ahas" and "hummms"  the doctor was watching the screen

"Whats the matter doctor?...Something´s wrong?"

"Oh. No, no. Calm down Mrs Starsky. Everything´s fine. Its just that weve something unexpected here. It's too soon to know if they are girls, boys or both, but one thing is sure. You aren´t waiting for a baby. But two. Twins...Congratulations Mrs Starsky."

"Two babies!! God Jenny! How do you suppose we will be able to handle this?" Asked Vicky a while later, heading with Jenny towards her car and still with amazement showing on her face.

"Easy. With the invaluable help from Uncle Hutch and Auntie Jenny. How else?" joked the blonde one before becomes serious again. "How do you think Dave will take the news Vick?"

"He´ll be happy Jenn. Im sure. You know? I don't know what happened yesterday between Hutch and him, but I know something. The real Dave has returned home and from now all will be fine" Both girls got in the car and Vicky started driving towards the High School to leave Jenny before going home. After some minutes in silence, Vicky spoke with a mischievous smile

"Know something Jenn? I will do a gift to Dave... A surprise."

"A surprise?...What kind of surprise are you thinking of Vicky?"

"Well. These last weeks haven´t been very kind for us... You know. Everything has been uncertainty, pain, fear. How about a terrific surprise for a change."

"No! Are you thinking what I guess?"

"Exactly!...Look Jenny. Dave is really happy with the idea of being a dad. You know it as well as me. Can you picture how much happier he will feel when the day of our babys birth, some nurse gives him not one child but two.But I´ll need your help to keep our little secret. And Gods help as well"

Both girls spent the rest of the way thinking the right way to carry out Vickys plan. Jenny wouldn´t say anything to Hutch and Vicky would hide all the things needed for her other baby at Jenny's place. The most difficult thing would be, if her pregnancy went smoothly, thinking of something in order that Starsky didn´t accompany her to any of her medical appointments.

Deep in thought she opened the door of her house, going towards the bedroom to find Starsky still sleeping with Samson on his side snoring loudly. After pulling up the covers around his neck, and kissing the top of his head gently, the girl headed towards the kitchen to fix him some breakfast. While Vicky was making some fresh orange juice Starsky came in the kitchen wrapping her his arms around her waist and placing his head on her back.

"Morning, sleepy head," She turned smiling to face Starsky holding a juice glass towards him.

"Vicky...Today you´ve got a medical appointment. Right?" He asked sitting down in a chair.

"Yeah. The first echography. I was there earlier."

"Im sorry. Im so sorry. I forgot it totally Vicky. Lately it seems I´m a pretty useless husband uh? Why didnt you wake me? I wanted to go with you."

"I know, but it was so early. And you were sleeping so pleasantlyI didnt want to bother you."

"How are you?And the baby? Everything´s okay?"

"We are both perfectly okay. It's too early to know if we are waiting for a girl or boy still, but everything´s going fine and our baby will born roughly January 5. Is that not a great New Year present?" But Starsky was sitting down in the chair staring sadly in the floor. Vicky knelt down cupping his face with her hands.

"Hey, Dave, don't feel guilty. I haven´t gone alone to the surgery. Jenny was with me."

"Jenny! I doubt she wants to speak to me again. Yesterday I said some pretty rough things to her." Starsky said, smiling bitterly.

"Jenny? Oh no. You don't know her. She´s temperamental, proud, stubborn as a true mule, but incapable of keeping any rancour. Don't worry about Jenn, Dave. Listen sweetheart. There´s something I want to say you. I don't know what happened yesterday, what Hutch and you talked about, but just I want you to know something. I won't ask you, because I guess you don't want to speak about it, but I´m here and I´ll always be here. To listen if you want to speak, and to respect your silence if you dont want to." Starsky rose from his chair with eyes tarnished from emotion and gratitude, embracing Vicky and kissing her lips.

Minutes later they both were in bed exploring each other´s body, meeting each other´s skin, enjoying their love again after long weeks of despair and loneliness. Vicky felt a shiver on touching the still fresh whip scars on Starsky´s back, but after a brief and painful flash back, the sunshine reached her heart one more time between Starsky´s warm arms and she knew how much she had missed his body, his tenderness, his passion.

"Know something Vicky?" Still I can't believe it. Here, inside, is a little person. Our baby...That´s the most wonderful thing I have ever received." He talked awhile later, rubbing her abdomen lovingly.

"You can be sure Dave. Our baby is here. Waiting to know the best dad that any child could have." Starsky held Vicky in his arms, and both still embraced, they slid into a sweet sleep.

From that day Starsky began to slowly make good progress until the day loomed when the Doctors finally declared him fit for duty. Neither he nor Hutch had spoken again about the day he had finally broken down but he had spent many hours in a quiet surgery with a trained psychiatrist allowing the memories to slowly surface and dealing with each of them one at a time. It had been many hours of exhausting and emotional trauma for Starsky since he had begun with his time in Vietnam before facing the hours of his torture at the hands of Gunther and Sherman. Each time Hutch had taken him to and from the appointments, ready to offer whatever support he could. Starsky had told him that he was helping simply by being there when he came out and that in itself was a good feeling after the days of abuse and being pushed away that he had endured from his friend. Vicky in the meantime always met him with a kiss when he returned, never asking questions he felt unable to answer. For that alone he loved her more than ever and he watched her grow ever larger as her pregnancy progressed with fondness, tenderness and admiration.

On the other hand as Vicky told Starsky, the first time he met Jenny after their argument in the yard, all was fine.

The occasion was during a dinner at Hutchs place. He and Jenny wanted to have a meeting with their best friends to speak of something that, for Vicky and Starsky, was simply obvious for some time. When the Starskys arrived Jenny was already there and it wasnt too long before she and Starsky got some minutes alone while Hutch was showing his new plants to Vicky. A pretext as good as any other to give some time to their friends to solve their troubles.

Starsky and Jenny were both feeling a little uncomfortable, being alone for the first time since that awful day until simultaneously, both broke the ice.

"Jenny. Listen"

"Dave, I..." The girl smiled raising her hand to stop him "Ladies first okay?... I just want to say that you mustn´t feel uncomfortable or guilty or anything like that with me. Seems like we can be a beautiful pair of idiots when we want uh?"

"I´m afraid Im the only idiot here Jenny."

"Know something David Starsky? I think you are right. I agree absolutely with you." Jenny joked.

"HEY YOU, GIRL!!" Starsky exclaimed "At least you could admit that you are pretty exasperating too!"

"Exasperating? Who? Me?"

"Seriously Jenny. I want to ask you for forgiveness...I was mad against the whole world, you pushed me a little and you paid with my rage. Thats all. But I love Vicky. I would never hurt her...And I feel very fond of you Jenny. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, of course I know it. Listen to me Dave. You are a great guy. Really. One of the best people Ive ever known and you love Vicky. I know that. As for me. No problem. I can guess how you were feeling those days."

When Vicky and Hutch came in from the greenhouse Starsky and Jenny were hugging each other, and all the tension had disappeared between them.

All four enjoyed an evening filled with friendship and love. Then Hutch and Jenny spoke of their feelings to their friends. Or at least Hutch tried.

"We know that you both will be happy hearing this. Me and Jenny...Well, Jenny and me. I mean, we are friends, but during the last few weeks we...We´ve become more than friends, I mean..."

Faced with the inability of Hutch to put his thoughts into words Jenny once again took the initiative approaching Hutch, sitting down on his knee and kissing him sweetly and deeply, as Vicky and Starsky laughed.

Vickys plan to keep the news of twins from Starsky was made very difficult while he was home and she had to keep thinking of different excuses to leave him behind whenever she had an appointment with her doctor. So it was that a part of her was slightly relieved when he had told her that he would be returning to work in a week. A big part of her though was dismayed that he would no longer be there all day and every day. Although she knew that he had to return to his job she had become accustomed to having him around and spoiling her. She had long forgotten what it meant to get up to an empty house and to worry about what her husband might be caught up in.

For the first two weeks Starsky was on desk duty and despite worrying about Hutch he felt safe and capable of carrying out all that was asked of him. The third week he was given the all clear to resume active duty and the thought terrified him, although he couldnt have said why if anyone had asked him. He made a great effort not to show his fears when Hutch arrived to pick him up that morning. Sub-consciously he told himself that his fears were groundless and that once he was out on the streets with Hutch then they would disappear as quickly as they had arisen and he would be fine. During the drive to the precinct he caught Hutch glancing at him once or twice with a frown on his face and he kept expecting him to say something. It was a very relieved Starsky who climbed quickly from Hutchs car and hurried inside the building to his desk. Hutch was convinced that his partner was bottling something up again and there was no way he was going to let that happen again if he could help it. He was unsure as to what it could be but it showed in his friends whole demeanour to someone who knew him as well as Hutch did. His walk wasnt so jaunty and he looked as though he wanted to hide. Promising that he would get to the bottom of it before they set out Hutch followed Starsky up the stairs.

Starsky though was an expert on avoiding issues if the need arose and Hutch found that he was unable to get him on his own. If there wasnt someone too close at hand then Starsky would disappear, like a rabbit down a hole, and Hutch would find him chatting to one of the desk officers or the secretaries. So it was that they spent the first hour of their morning barely having five minutes together. Hutch knew exactly what was happening but was powerless to stop it without physically hauling Starsky into the toilets and locking the door behind them. Sighing Hutch decided to leave it, for now at least.

A couple of hours later they hit the streets they both knew so well, and for a while, every thing seemed normal. Starsky was having his usual moan about Hutchs car when a call came through on the radio about a silent alarm in the warehouse district of town.

"10-4 control, zebra 3 rolling." Hutch hung up the mike and pressed the accelerator to the floor, completing a hundred and eighty degree turn with just a glance over his shoulder.

"Light Starsk!" Starsky appeared to be lost somewhere and Hutch quickly nudged his elbow.

"What?" His voice came out as a whisper.

"The light Starsk, unless you want me to broadside a truck or something on the way!"

Starsky visibly shook as he slapped the light in position on the roof. Hutch stole a quick glance at him as he sped through the morning traffic. Starskys face had taken on a ghostly pallor and he sat rigid in his seat, staring straight out through the windscreen.

"Starsk! You okay?" Hutchs mind began to work through the signs as they neared their objective and he mentally kicked his own backside hard. Sure the medics had listened for hours as Starsky had talked his memories through but this was the first time that Starsky had been back to the place of his fears since it had happened. Understanding and compassion washed over him as he saw a thin gleam of sweat on Starskys brow. "HeyPartner. It´ll be okay. You dont have to go inside. Well take care of things and hand it over to the uniforms as soon as possible. Then well be out of here. Think you can handle that Starsk?" Hutchs eyebrows rose as he glanced at the man beside him.

Starsky nodded, a short, terse nod that did little to convince Hutch. "Im fine!"

Hutch killed the sirens as they neared their objective. Slowly they drove into the alleys, passing up and down until at last they spotted what they were looking for. Ahead of them a group of three youths were loading boxes from a warehouse into a small van. Hutch hit the brakes and together they jumped from the car, Hutch going left, Starsky right.

"HOLD IT! POLICE." Hutchs voice echoed along the alley and the three spun around, dropping their packages. One dropped to his knee, a rifle in his hand firing aimlessly in the general direction of Starsky who dived behind a rubbish skip. He heard the echo of a magnum and knew that Hutch had met his target. Risking popping his head out he was met with the sight of the two remaining felons racing for the door of the warehouse they had just been robbing. Hutch tore after them but Starsky felt his feet turning to lead. Forcing himself to move he slowly made his way towards the entrance which loomed dark and foreboding in front of him. Breathing heavily and with beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead again he glanced inside looking for any sign of his partner. Suddenly he could hear gunfire and once again recognised the sound of the magnum. Unable to see but working on sound he willed himself forward into the darkness.

"HUTCH" Starsky yelled as loudly as he could.

"Over here!" Hutch yelled back and Starsky felt relief wash over him. Ricochets rained around his feet and he forced them to move, heading for cover. From his position behind a massive container he could just make out Hutch crouching behind a stack of boxes. As he watched he was horrified to see the two thieves were pulling Hutch into a trap as, in the darkness, they worked their way round behind him. Frozen in place Starsky was unable even to shout a warning. Squeezing his eyes shut he took a couple of deep breaths before forcing his eyes open again. He looked down at his hand and ordered it to stop shaking as he slowly pushed his feet forward from behind his container. Interminably slowly he closed the distance between him and the two felons as they closed their trap behind Hutch. Through eyes half closed in fear and sweat which freely dropped down his face Starsky watched in horror as they both raised their weapons.

"Bye cop!" One of the two called out and Hutch swung around in time to see two guns aimed straight at him. He had no time to react as he heard the gunfire and saw the flash in the darkness. He felt the burning sensation as a bullet found its mark in his shoulder and he slumped back against the boxes. Expecting any moment to feel another he looked forward and was met with the sight of the two pitching forward, a look of total disbelief on their faces as they hit the ground, eyes lifeless. Hutch forced himself to his feet and slowly made his way across the floor, blood pouring from his shoulder. Standing some four feet behind the two was a very pale and shaking Starsky, his gun still at full arms stretch, his fingers locked around the weapon.

"Starsk." Hutch closed the distance a quickly as he could, ignoring the pain that the effort cost him. As he reached Starsky he could see the thin sheen of sweat that covered his face. He could see also the look of fear in his friends eyes. Reaching out Hutch gently opened Starskys hands and took the gun from his hands. "Its okay buddyIts over Take it easy."

Finally Starskys arms dropped to his side and he turned his head to look at his partner. Gently he raised his hand to touch the blood seeping from Hutchs shoulder before abruptly turning and fleeing from the building. Slowly making his way after him Hutch reached his car to find Starsky sitting hunched in the back seat, his arms firmly locked around his knees and his head down.

From somewhere behind him a black and white patrol car pulled to a halt and one officer got out running quickly towards Hutch. Quickly taking in the blood and the pain etched on Hutchs face he shouted to his partner to call for an ambulance.

"Make that a coroners wagon too. Theres one over there and two more inside." Hutch fell against the side of his car. The officer nodded and added the request to his earlier order.

"How bad are you hurt?" The officer came and eased Hutch too the floor, pulling his jacket away so that he could get a good look.

"Its just a flesh wound thank goodness. Hurts like hell though." Hutch bit into his lip as the officer gently took off his jacket and ripped the sleeve of his shirt. From somewhere he produced a white handkerchief and pressed it firmly onto the wound.

"What´s your name?" Hutch looked at the young man in front of him.

"Wilson, John Wilson. You?"

"Ken Hutchinson. You know, for a cop you make a pretty good medic."

John Wilson snorted a little. "My Mum and sister are nurses. I grew up knowing how to take care of any and every injury I came up against. Comes in handy now and then." John Wilson glanced inside the car at Starsky. "Your partner okay?" The question hung in the air.

"He will be, once I can get him away from here. Its thanks to him that youre not dealing with something a lot more serious than this." Hutch pointed to his arm. "Do me a favour will you John? Dont say anything about this to anyone." Hutch looked directly into the younger mans eyes, asking for understanding.

For a moment Wilson hesitated then nodded his head once. "Okay, Ill cover for you but youd better get him out of sight before my partner sees him."

Hutch thought for a moment. "Help me up will you?" He rose slowly. "StarskI wont be a moment and Ill be back. It will be better if I go over to the patrol car. The ambulance will be here in a moment and as soon as theyve patched me up Ill get us both out of here. Stay put for mePromise!" Hutch placed his hand on Starskys shoulder and gently gave it a squeeze. For a moment he thought he hadnt been heard then Starsky turned to look at him with glazed eyes. Nodding he turned back allowing his head to drop once more to his knees.

Satisfied Hutch allowed John Wilson to help him cross the short distance between cars. As he arrived so did the ambulance and Hutch was quickly manoeuvred into the back. The paramedics were quick and efficient and soon had the shoulder strapped up.

"Okay lets get you too the hospital and get some stitches in that."

"No way!" Hutch was firm. "Youve stopped the bleeding right?" The paramedic nodded his face terse. "Okay then I dont need a hospital." Hutch could see the look of defiance in the other mans eyes, knowing he was in for an argument he had neither the time nor the energy for. "LookI promise that if it starts again then Ill go straight to casualty but right now Ive got something a lot more important to do." For a moment the two had a staring match but Hutch had more reason to win and the paramedic finally gave way.

"Its on your head but if your adamant then theres little I can do about it." Relenting a little he helped Hutch out of the ambulance. "Its gonna hurt like hell once the analgesics we gave you wear off. Heretake a couple of thesejust in case it gets too bad."

Nodding Hutch thanked him then began the trip back to his own car. John Wilson caught him and they finished the trip together. As they reached the vehicle Wilson put his hand on Hutchs shoulder.

"It took me a while but Ive just worked out where I heard your partners name before. He was held prisoner in a place like this wasnt he?"

"Yes!" Hutch was immediately defensive.

"I heard what they did to him and I guess it explains an awful lot. Good luck both of youand dont worryI never saw him."

"Thanks. We owe you." Hutch held out his hand and the two men shook hands before getting into his car. Not for the first time he thanked god that his car wasnt a manual gear shift as he slipped it into drive and pulled slowly away from the alley and the warehouse. Heading towards Venice Place he called them in as off duty.

Half an hour later they pulled to a stop outside of his canal side apartment. Easing himself out of the car he walked to the nearside passenger door and opened it.

"Come on Starsk. Lets get you inside and we can work this through together." Reaching in he half pulled Starsky to his feet and the two friends walked indoors, Hutch firmly closing the world outside as he shut the door.

Settling his friend on the couch Hutch headed for a cupboard and took out a bottle of brandy and a glass. Pouring a good measure he headed back to the couch and sat down next to Starsky.

"Here, drink this." He pressed the glass into Starskys hand and watched as he slowly lifted it too his lips sipping at the dark liquid inside. Hutch waited until the glass was half empty before he spoke.

"Come on buddy. Lets have it. What the hell happened back there?" His voice was soft and encouraging.

For a moment Starsky simply stared at his feet and Hutch thought he wouldnt answer.

"I almost got you killed Hutch. Thats what happened!" Starskys voice, when it finally came, was a mere whisper and full of emotion.

"Rubbish! You saved my life Starsk. If you hadn´t have been there..."

"Thats the whole point Hutch. I nearly wasnt and it almost cost you your life." Starsky rose abruptly from his seat and the glass spilt it contents to the floor. "I froze Hutch. For the first time in my life I couldnt do this damn job. I had to force myself to follow you when I should have been right there with you. If I had have been then you wouldn´t have gotten into a position like you did, where those turkeys could take you out. "

"But they didnt take me out pal. You stopped them! You were there when it mattered Starsk. Dont you see that? If you hadnt have come when you did Id be dead and it would be me they were loading into that coroners wagon right now. But you did and theyre not. Give yourself a break Starsky. You only came back on full duty today. Besidesthis is my fault."

Starsky swung to look at Hutch, eyes wide and questioning. "How the hell do you make that one out Blintz?"

"I knew this morning that something was wrong and knew you were avoiding it like the plague. I should have made you tell me."

"What makes you think I would´ve told you anything? I wasn´t even sure what was wrong myself, much less tell you." Starsky was angry that his partner could turn this around and somehow blame himself for getting shot. "Sorry partner but this time you cant take the blame. This one was down to me, totally, completely and one hundred percent." Starsky sank slowly back onto the couch his energies spent. "I messed up good and proper and look what happened." He pointed at Hutchs shoulder. "When we get back to the precinct Ill go and see Dobey, tell him what happened. Then Ill hand in my resignation and you can get a new partner, someone who aint about to get you killed at the drop of a hat. Someone you can rely on." Defeat filled every inch of Starsky´s body.

"Okay...okay you do that. But youd better tell him he needs two replacements while you´re at it. I dont want a new partner Starsky. I´ve already got the best one there is and I´m not about to let him give up without a fight." Hutch knelt down in front of his partner and shook his shoulders. "Listen to me Starsk. You just came back after going through hell. Youre entitled to freak out a little. So you didnt follow me into that warehouse so what? I dont think in your shoes Id have been able to either. What matters is that you came when you could and you saved my life because you overcame those fears that were holding you back. Starsky youre the bravest man I know and today just served to prove it." Hutch paused for breath before continuing. "When I was a kid there was a horse on my Dads ranch. It was mean, even the other horses stayed away from it. One day I had a huge row with my Dad and ran out to the barn. I was crying so hard I couldnt see where I was going. Unbeknown to me Dad had moved the horse into the barn and the first I realised was when it had me pinned in the corner. I was only ten and this horse seemed huge in comparison to me, especially when it reared onto its hind legs. I yelled as loud as I could but no-one heard me. I was terrified Starsk. I thought it was going to kill me. Then my Grandfather came in and managed to grab its bridle. I scrambled out of there as fast as I could and ran to my bedroom. Thats where he found me a little later. We sat for hours just talking the whole thing through then he took me back into the barn. He made me take a real good look at that horse Starsk. He made me face up to it, to face my fears and realise that neither they nor bad memories could ever hurt me again."

Hutch stopped and Starsky took his chance to interrupt.

"Whats this got to do with me almost getting you killed today?"

"Nothingand everything. Dont you see buddy. You talked everything through with the specialists but you didnt go back. You didnt face the fears and look then in the eye. Thats what was wrong this morning, and it will be the same every morning until you do."

"You dont now what your asking Hutch!" Starsky had paled visibly.

"I do Starsk. Believe me I doand I wouldnt ask it if I thought there was any other way." Hutchs voice was soft but firm and Starsky knew he wasnt going to give way.

"Im not sure that I can do what youre asking. Youve no idea what I went through in there."

"I know exactly what Im asking you to do Starsky and I know that you can do it. The difference is this time Ill be right there with you every step of the way."

A resigned Starsky looked at Hutch for a few minutes, holding his gaze and taking strength from him.

"Okay. I´ll try. When?"

"No time like the present partner." Hutch was firm and supporting offering his love along with the strength.

The journey back to the warehouse district was made in silence. As they neared there destination Hutch could almost feel Starsky tighten up. Pulling to a halt outside of a tall innocuous looking building Hutch got out and looked up and down at the front of the building. Slowly Starsky got out and stood beside him.

"Is this the place?"

Hutch nodded realising that this was the first time Starsky had seen the outside of the building where he had been tortured for so long. He turned to his friend. "Ready?"

As an answer Starsky took a few hesitant steps forward before turning to look for Hutch who quickly moved to stand beside him. "Together buddy remember?"

"Thanks Hutch." A small grin flashed across Starskys face before being replaced with a look of defiance. "Come on. Lets get this done with."

Together the two men pushed the door open and entered the inside of the building. Hutch shivered as he looked around remembering clearly the sounds of Starskys scream the last time he was here. Still Starsky recognised nothing. Then Hutch brought him to a halt outside of a door. For a moment his hand rested on the catch before, with a deep breath, he opened it. Stepping inside Starsky instantly felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and his breath came in short bursts. His whole body began to tremble and he could feel his legs weakening. Instantly he felt Hutchs hand under his arm giving him support. Standing in the middle of the room the two made a small circle. All signs of what had happened were long gone, removed by the police forensics team. However, in one corner the floor was darker than the rest and it drew Starsky towards it. Bending down he touched the floor where so much of his blood had been spilt and he glanced upwards to the ceiling from where he had hung in agony. Hutch let him be for a few moments before walking over and kneeling beside him.

"See Starsk. Nothing here to hurt you anymore. Its over buddy and you won again. Gunther lost! From now on you can only go forward with Vicky and the baby while Gunther spends whats left of his miserable existence locked away in solitary with no one to care whether he lives or when he dies."

For a few moments Starsky remained kneeling then, slowly pulling himself upwards he spoke softly.

"Thanks Hutch. For finding me when you did. For hanging on when I was so bloody awful to you and for today. Youre my pal Hutch." With that the two men hugged ferociously before parting both with tears in their eyes.

"Come on Starsk. Youve got a wife waiting for you. Tomorrow we start over!"

The two friends turned and left the building and the bad memories and fears behind them. Starsky and Hutch were back!